The Top 5 Truths about Therapy: What a Therapist in Wakefield Wants You to Know
Finding the right Wakefield therapist can be easy!
As a therapist in Wakefield, I know that many people hesitate to start therapy and unfortunately don’t get the benefits of therapy as a result. I hope to bring inspiration and comfort about approaching therapy and help you find more excitement for the transformation it can bring to your life.
Whether you are a young adult navigating the transitions of life after college, you are adjusting to becoming a parent, struggling with insomnia or a myriad of other challenges, therapy can help.
Can it feel really awkward to imagine starting therapy in Wakefield or somewhere else nearby? Certainly, yet with a good fit, you will be glad you got through the awkward phase and into a more satisfying life.
While my last blog post addressed a lot of myths about therapy, there are also a lot of truths about therapy that many people simply don’t know if they have never been in therapy. Additionally, some people have had poor quality therapy or have felt no connection with their therapist, so they don’t know how powerful good therapy can be for them. Here are things that I wish people knew when they were considering therapy in Wakefield:
Truth #1 – Therapy is for anyone
A lot of people think that therapy is only for people with “serious issues,” “real problems” or some other concept of intense suffering. You may find your inner critic active when you consider therapy as your critic tells you that “you don’t have it that bad” or that “you should be able to figure things out on your own because a lot of people have it a lot worse than you.” Might it be true that others are facing greater suffering? Of course, yet that does not mean that your suffering does not matter! Your pain is real and you deserve relief. What may seem trivial to someone else could rock you to your core and leave you in a tailspin, and vice versa. We all deserve relief from our suffering, whatever the cause or magnitude of it. If all you are looking for is the proverbial cherry on top, that is okay too!
Additionally, some people think that therapy is only for a sort of elitist group in society, who are intellectual, introspective, white and quite wealthy. The truth is that therapy transcends wealth status, race, disability and more. While therapy is not necessarily as accepted in some cultures as it is in others, everyone can benefit. In fact, those in typically marginalized groups often can benefit the most from an experience that validates their experiences and respects the complex interplay of internal suffering with external societal discourse.
Truth #2 – You get to decide what changes you will actually make in your life
While a therapist may make recommendations, it is important to remember that you are always the one in control of your life and you get to be the one to decide what comes out of therapy and what does not. At times in therapy, your therapist might make recommendations that are really uncomfortable for you, yet you should always have the opportunity to voice that concern and make sure you understand why the therapist is making that recommendation. The art in therapy is in helping someone to stretch themself enough to ensure there is actually change happening, while also making sure someone stays stable enough through making the change.
For example, you might share in therapy about a challenging relationship in your life. Yet no therapist could make you start communicating with that challenging person in a way that you do not want to do. Even if you make a plan in session for something to do after the session, when the time comes, it is always up to you to implement the plan or not. You get to change your mind and stay in control. Will future sessions revisit the plans? Hopefully! And hopefully future sessions can help you make a more realistic plan for something you are genuinely eager and invested in doing differently to make the change you want to see in your life. It is important to remember that you ultimately get to call the shots and you will never be forced to do anything that you do not feel ready to do. Might you be nudged sometimes? Sure! Yet never, ever forced.
Truth #3: There is a relaxation or grounding skill for everyone
I readily admit that I was very slow to come around to appreciate the value of relaxation, breathing and grounding skills. To be honest, very few worked for me despite trying a ton during my initial training and professional experiences. A lot also felt way too woo-woo for me and simply felt silly. So the people who came to me for therapist earliest in my career got next to nothing from me in that regard.
When I found myself craving more grounding during a challenging time in life, however, I returned to the options with a more open attitude and eventually found some strategies that worked. Thank goodness! Now I can not imagine my life without them because they bring such quick and reliable relief. I use some to help get to sleep, some to help center myself when I am about to lose my temper, some when I’m bored and need to stay alert and so many other situations.
I firmly believe there is something for everyone, and recognize it may take time and trial and error to find what works. Some people come to me eager to learn more of these skills yet others sound like me when I was younger and they are totally disinterested. I will usually strongly encourage people to simply try a couple with me in a session to see how they really feel. I am very happy to say that we have always been able to find something for everyone in time, yet I have never forced anyone to do them. You always get to choose whether to try or not.
Truth #4: You Won’t Get Much Advice
This one surprises people a lot, because aren’t therapists supposed to be great at giving advice? While most of us do hold some pearls of wisdom that we have culled through our experiences, we actually are not in the advice-giving business. Friends, family, coworkers, Ted Talks, social media and random people in line at the supermarket tend to be plenty good at dishing out advice on their own, you don’t need any more of it!
What most people need instead is a guide to help them recognize what they already know in their gut to be true, and someone to help them figure out how to remove barriers that keep them from acting on that reality. I truly believe that most people know how to solve most of their challenges, if they are simply asked the right questions, given some observations and given an opportunity to reflect and connect with their values and preferences.
Plus, we all feel much, much better if we learn to find solutions to our problems rather than simply being told what to do. My hope is that through therapy, you will become familiar with the best ways to explore your challenges on your own, in order to find your own solutions over time, leaving you able to give yourself the advice you really need to hear the most.
Truth #5: Your therapy can look really different over time
Therapy is highly individual so not only is your therapy likely to look different from your friend’s, but your therapy can look very different at different stages in your life. Those stages might change in a matter of months so therapy might look really different quite quickly, too! Therapy is always about supporting you to make the changes you wish to see in your life. Life evolves and is highly dynamic, so it makes sense if the changes you desire change as well.
Therapy might start out focusing on managing stress in a toxic work environment that you are scared to leave because you want to build your career in the industry. Yet a few months into therapy you learn you are going to become a parent for the first time and that brings a cascade of emotions, perhaps ruffles up some childhood trauma concerns and so we might pivot a bit and integrate new goals accordingly. We might shift from working on communication strategies to working on grounding skills. We might be wrapping up work managing panic attacks more comfortably when you get an unexpected job offer and need to work on decision-making strategies that are really challenging for you.
Therapy is dynamic, and you can always shift the focus of therapy to suit your life. Sometimes, this might mean changing therapists or adding someone highly specialized for something very specific, yet often these changes can still be made within an existing therapeutic relationship. Therapy with me is less about the day-to-day realities and more about the process you take to living within those realities.
Has this gotten you more excited about therapy? Find a therapist in Wakefield, MA
Are you looking for a compassionate and effective therapist in Wakefield, MA? Whether you are entering therapy for the first time or looking to reconnect with the process, I offer a welcoming, supportive space to explore your challenges and goals. With the flexibility of in-person and online therapy, we can find a space for therapy in your lifestyle and schedule.
Specializing in working with young adults and adults during life transitions as well as with caregivers, I am committed to finding strategies to have you feeling your best. Are you ready to take the next step? Let’s connect over a free, 15-minute phone consultation for therapy in Wakefield.
Like what we talked about today? You might enjoy the following articles:
https://blog.opencounseling.com/why-wont-my-therapist-tell-me-what-to-do/